I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
As I stated on my last post I'm going to transcribe one our latest conversation. Since my birthday I have fallen into a rut of sorts when it comes to her. These almost daily interactions make it difficult to stay on track. I also find that writing it down helps me detoxify myself from the situation.
Me:
Real quick we need to work out some child support arrangement now that your working cause I been doing this all alone for way to long. You say you have changed so I would imagine there would be no issues in you supporting your kids needs.
Old lady:
First of all your mom has been taking care of all of you. Second I told you we have to go through the courts. Third you are not letting me see any of the kids, not even my son. They have not been allowed to call me everyday like we agreed and you are doing things behind my back I do not appreciate.
Me:
Behind your back? What do you know about what goes on here, your clueless. Your responsible regardless is what you do not understand and the fact that you do not see that says it all. If I go through the courts it will be much, much worse on you. To clarify your lack of transportation is your quote unquote excuse not to see them. I have not said no to you for that so that's on you. None of this foolishness is on me cause I been here the whole time regardless of what so called issues are going on. That's what an adult and parent does you should try it.
Old lady:
I tried working. But because my leg is so bad I couldn't. Like I told you I would come home every night crying and could not stand at all or put any pressure on it.
Me:
You don't want to help out why should I?
Old lady:
Talking to the kids is not you helping me out. Richie you've been told you can't legally keep them from me. So can I please talk to the kids?
Me:
What is helping you? Doing your job as well by being a single parent. You get to do whatever cause you don't deal with the kids on a daily basis. You don't want to help out why should I.
Old lady:
I beg you to let me parent my children. You won't let me even let me talk to them. So get your story straight. I've tried to get you to give him to me. His child support is to put a roof over his head and I am putting his child support towards his roof. I'm not arguing with you. We are adults and we should be able to discuss this. So that's what I'm doing.
Me:
He has been here for you to pick up this whole time. What about the roof I have provided? Guess that's free huh. Who is stopping you from being thier mother! No one! Get your story straight!
Old lady:
It is free to a child and you didn't say anything. You and your mom told me that before.
Me:
Its your job to support them and you don't plain and simple. Your the worst excuse of a parent I have ever seen.
Old lady:
Your stopping me. So since you won't let me talk to them this discussion is over.
Me:
Your a joke! You always will be, no one will ever see you as doing the right thing. Your not capable of it, end of sentence, end of everything. You want him he is here. No one is stopping you. You just can't deal with the fact that you have screwed him up so bad that you wouldn't be able to handle him. I told you this being civil wouldn't last. You're impossible to deal with no one can deal with you. You make them so fucking miserable. what you don't understand is that what you have done it said is what has caused this storm ends in this for boy's life. You are the cause of suffering like always. He is suffering a lot from what you have done.
Old lady:
Well he might be suffering a little less if you would allow me to speak or see my son!
Me:
That's not going to solve anything. Your two months too late! Your just not bright when it comes to all of this. Its pointless talking to someone with no soul!
Old lady:
Okay well what time can I come get them so I can speak to them and apologize face to face?
Me:
For being a mother as you say you are clueless to what they need or feelings. Its just a shame. The crazy thing is I do care about you but I just don't know what to say about this situation no more. It breaks my heart how our son is suffering quietly like me and blows up like you.
Old lady:
It's a shame you are keeping them from me, si shame on you!
Me:
There will never be enough shame to cover what you have done and that's a horrible thing. You are not doing right by nobody espically yourself and until you see that things won't ever improve. I'm saying this cause I care, if you see it or not I do. Since I know you so welli know you won't see where I'm coming from. You can't force someone to love or forgive you. I know this is hard
"Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices - just recognize them."
- Edward R. Murrow
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
As I stated on my last post I'm going to transcribe one our latest conversation. Since my birthday I have fallen into a rut of sorts when it comes to her. These almost daily interactions make it difficult to stay on track. I also find that writing it down helps me detoxify myself from the situation.
Me:
Real quick we need to work out some child support arrangement now that your working cause I been doing this all alone for way to long. You say you have changed so I would imagine there would be no issues in you supporting your kids needs.
Old lady:
First of all your mom has been taking care of all of you. Second I told you we have to go through the courts. Third you are not letting me see any of the kids, not even my son. They have not been allowed to call me everyday like we agreed and you are doing things behind my back I do not appreciate.
Me:
Behind your back? What do you know about what goes on here, your clueless. Your responsible regardless is what you do not understand and the fact that you do not see that says it all. If I go through the courts it will be much, much worse on you. To clarify your lack of transportation is your quote unquote excuse not to see them. I have not said no to you for that so that's on you. None of this foolishness is on me cause I been here the whole time regardless of what so called issues are going on. That's what an adult and parent does you should try it.
Old lady:
I tried working. But because my leg is so bad I couldn't. Like I told you I would come home every night crying and could not stand at all or put any pressure on it.
Me:
You don't want to help out why should I?
Old lady:
Talking to the kids is not you helping me out. Richie you've been told you can't legally keep them from me. So can I please talk to the kids?
Me:
What is helping you? Doing your job as well by being a single parent. You get to do whatever cause you don't deal with the kids on a daily basis. You don't want to help out why should I.
Old lady:
I beg you to let me parent my children. You won't let me even let me talk to them. So get your story straight. I've tried to get you to give him to me. His child support is to put a roof over his head and I am putting his child support towards his roof. I'm not arguing with you. We are adults and we should be able to discuss this. So that's what I'm doing.
Me:
He has been here for you to pick up this whole time. What about the roof I have provided? Guess that's free huh. Who is stopping you from being thier mother! No one! Get your story straight!
Old lady:
It is free to a child and you didn't say anything. You and your mom told me that before.
Me:
Its your job to support them and you don't plain and simple. Your the worst excuse of a parent I have ever seen.
Old lady:
Your stopping me. So since you won't let me talk to them this discussion is over.
Me:
Your a joke! You always will be, no one will ever see you as doing the right thing. Your not capable of it, end of sentence, end of everything. You want him he is here. No one is stopping you. You just can't deal with the fact that you have screwed him up so bad that you wouldn't be able to handle him. I told you this being civil wouldn't last. You're impossible to deal with no one can deal with you. You make them so fucking miserable. what you don't understand is that what you have done it said is what has caused this storm ends in this for boy's life. You are the cause of suffering like always. He is suffering a lot from what you have done.
Old lady:
Well he might be suffering a little less if you would allow me to speak or see my son!
Me:
That's not going to solve anything. Your two months too late! Your just not bright when it comes to all of this. Its pointless talking to someone with no soul!
Old lady:
Okay well what time can I come get them so I can speak to them and apologize face to face?
Me:
For being a mother as you say you are clueless to what they need or feelings. Its just a shame. The crazy thing is I do care about you but I just don't know what to say about this situation no more. It breaks my heart how our son is suffering quietly like me and blows up like you.
Old lady:
It's a shame you are keeping them from me, si shame on you!
Me:
There will never be enough shame to cover what you have done and that's a horrible thing. You are not doing right by nobody espically yourself and until you see that things won't ever improve. I'm saying this cause I care, if you see it or not I do. Since I know you so welli know you won't see where I'm coming from. You can't force someone to love or forgive you. I know this is hard
"Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices - just recognize them."
- Edward R. Murrow
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
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