I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
Mahatma Gandhi
I have been procrastinating this post since I posted my last one last week. The whole point I started this blog was to express myself and I feel like I'm using my talents on some level. Its stressful trying to live up to certain expectations placed upon me by myself and others. This shouldn't feel like work. This shouldn't stress me out. As the process goes the more I get into this post the more at ease I feel. Seems like the story of my life. I tend to give up before I even try. I am working on that mind frame and approach to life in general. Especially in my family and marriage.
Things are going well, actually more than well they are going really good. I think I am starting to get a taste of what it is to live in harmony or the closest thing to it. I am so use to the shit hitting the fan than I am constantly flinching waiting to be splattered. So far its been a shit free zone. The good have been great the not so good moments have been not that bad at all. I am growing and learning. Well I think I am. After being put through hell and coming out the abyss to see the light, I still have to pinch myself at times to makes sure this is my life I am living not a daydream. The sequence of events that lead to this time in place I now call my life is still a mind fuck. People in my life are still in the dark cause I have kept them in the dark. This was my choice. Not my wife's choice, not my children's choice, mine. Me Richard Guillermo of sound body and mind have decided to just stop. To hit the pause button and see if I can just soak in all of this. No outside influence. No belly aching on my part. No one chirping in my ear or me looking for someone to chirp in my ear. No more good advice, no more bad advice. Just silence and the sound of my daily life speaking to my heart on a daily basis. Just the chance to apply all that I have learned. The weight of my decisions are very real. This is something new. A new way of life and I am trying to figure it out as I go.
Much of the advice people get about marriage problems is wrong. It sounds good. It makes sense. The problem is, it usually doesn't work, The process is not intuitive. You really have to be careful that the advice has proved to achieve the outcome you’re looking for. Among the worst advice? Telling your wife how you really feel. Sometimes expressing your feelings can be very hurtful to the other person. But shouldn't I be honest about my feelings? This way of thinking was one of my beliefs. What's the point of being with someone you can't express yourself fully. I didn't want to sugar coat or fake my feelings cause I thought it might compromise me as a person and the fear of losing my identity. Then through trial and error this simple message finally popped up in my head and stayed If honestly expressing your feelings is hurtful to the other person, it’s not honest; it’s stupid, it’s insensitive, and it’s damaging to the relationship. Listening is an important skill a spouse. But a broken marriage needs leadership. After listening, someone has to have the courage and experience to say, ok here is what I want you to do. Marriages change not because of what people say or how well they listen, but because of what someone in the marriage will do.
It often takes many years of marriage before two people can become honest enough to tell one another what they really need to hear. Marriage provides the painful feedback that is necessary for personal growth. Pain definitely means your alive for sure. Your spouse might be capable of hating you more than anyone. .Your spouse is
also capable of loving you more than anyone.Its a very strange dynamic. The whole ying and yang concept. The harder it is to make things work, the better of a person you will become. It’s more rewarding to run a marathon than it is to walk to the mailbox. That’s because nearly anyone can walk to the mailbox. Few people have what it takes to run a marathon. Relationships are similar. It’s easy to love someone during easy times. It’s a lot more rewarding to love someone through hard times.
I feel what I feel. I think what I think. No matter what it looks likes like. No matter the history of this story. No matter who the main characters are. I will figure this out. I will take control of my path in life. I will succeed, cause the price of failing is far to great a price to pay. I am tried of paying and I am dead broke cause of it. Time to build from the ground up, what else do I have time for other than waiting for death.
One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once formed they must be defended against the heaviest odds.The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
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