page 63-Let out the posion

I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
- Abraham Lincoln

I was going to write something with a purpose. Instead I'm a salad bowl of mixed up emotions. I'm irritated. I'm sad. I'm feeling better about myself. I got a small hop to my step. I am optimistic. I'm alert. I'm combing through my past. I'm drooling about my possible future. I'm horny yet satisfied. I'm frustrated. I'm anxious and slightly calm. I'm not hungry but want candy. I'm alone but I'm finding this thing called sanity. I'm writing this stupid list with no way to end it. I'm looking up instead of the floor. I'm starting to notice the female specimen. I'm speaking my mind, I'm guarding my heart. I'm envisioning my incline not my decline. I'm remembering the events of my continuous pain. I'm learning ways to heal thoses wounds. I'm seeking advice. I'm listening more. I enjoy the silence of life and the story that plays out in its stillness. I pray more. I feel more. I'm feeling much better writing this shit down. I just got interrupted by my broski. She knows who she is. She's a sweet kid. She keeps my anxiety levels down. Now I'm off track. My rage and venom levels have dropped and my inspirational rant has come to a crawling stop. I have so many things going on that I don't know where to start. My marriage is definitely over. My kids mental stability is high on my concern list. My haterd and love for my old lady varies and intertwine constantly. My mom is amazing and gets on my godloving nerves. My friends are amazing.There are so many beautiful woman out there that I'm finally starting to notice. My heart has hardened quicker than I expected. I'm having a lot easier time expressing my feelings and the fear is diminishing quite nicely. The fear of interactions, intimacy and socializing are fading. For ever word I type ten escape me. Well enough of this schizophrenic pattern of thoughts. Its all I got in me guys. If you got any complaints. Please, please send your complaints and concerns to 100 who gives a shit ave, your a moron for continuing to read this United states of stupidly. Just kidding guys I love you all....for now. Be safe and remember we are as rich as the company we keep.

"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't."
- Erica Jong

I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight