I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
Speaking, thinking, processing and recycle. Follow these directions, repeat , rinse and repeat. A day in the life of me. Kind of. Of course it would be impossible to shove all ya in my head. The visual along is very disturbing. Today like many days in my long unstable existence. Once again I'm having difficulties finishing this new project of mine. I started out last night writing and literally in mid sentence I got this overwhelming urge to collapse and I did. My body is giving out on me it's shutting down. My mind us in overdrive constantly and I'm paralyzed with fear and numbness. To the naked eye I know what picture this paints. I'm lazy, no drive, no motivation,. I'm struggling to brush my teeth on a daily basis.
Is this what my battle song has become. The basic human essentials, cleanliness, eating, sleeping. What kind of life is this? Or lack of. This cloud of utter sadness and just plain bad juju has been hovering. Once again the ability to stay awake has conquer me. Then I had a dream about my old lady to boot. She came back into my life and the feeling in the dream was dread and joy. I haven't had such a vivid dream like that in a long time.
Erase:
1 a : to rub or scrape out (as written, painted, or engraved letters) <erase an error>
b : to remove written or drawn marks from <erase a blackboard>
c : to remove (recorded matter) from a magnetic medium; also : to remove recorded matter
2 a : to remove from existence or memory as if by erasing
b : to nullify the effect or force of
Synonyms: abolish, black out, blot out, cancel, clean (up), efface, eradicate, annihilate, expunge, exterminate, extirpate, liquidate, obliterate, root (out), rub out, snuff (out), stamp (out), sweep (away), wipe out
Just imagine being erased from someones life. You where penciled in there daily book of life and then your not. Memories seem to fade away like water damaged pages. Your feelings are smeared like run off ink, leaving a disaster of a mess and undecipherable feelings. How does one rewrite there future when it was all laid out in front of you? How can the person you pledged your heart to erase you like a bad line in a song. How can one move on to a new canvas and paint another picture? I tell you how or should I say I've been told how. Just do it. Like the commercials, just do it cause you have to. Just like in a war there will be casualties. There will be victories. There will defeat. There will many to take place of the fallen. It's a necessary evil of life. To gain and lose. Everyone loses but not everyone wins. I wanna win for once. I want to be at the top for as long as possible before I'm erased once more from the book of life. I'm tried of being written over and being nothing but a smudge on someone's page. I want to be in the title, I want to be in the headline. I want to just be something to my someone.
Once again my soul purges itself through my writing and at the end of it I have this to share.
All in my eyes
Are my secrets
Buried lay my lies
All in my eyes
I battle my tendencies
The gateway to my life
All in my eyes
Cemented are my truths
Covering my weaknesses
Living to die
All in my eyes
Hide behind sunglasses
Giving rest to my mind
All in my eyes
The seasons change
Momentum carry
This plight of mine
All in my eyes
Days accumulate
Nights punish me
Time passes me by
All in my eyes
My feeling suffer
My heart incinerates
My vision goes awry
All in my eyes
Judged by peers
Sentenced by emotions
Executed time after time
All in my eyes
Shades of brown witness miracles
Shutter by evil
Shape this tale of mine
All in your eyes
I am weakness
I am invincible
I'm far from being fine
Giving up doesn't always mean your weak, sometimes it means your strong enough to let go. To be continued...
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
Is this what my battle song has become. The basic human essentials, cleanliness, eating, sleeping. What kind of life is this? Or lack of. This cloud of utter sadness and just plain bad juju has been hovering. Once again the ability to stay awake has conquer me. Then I had a dream about my old lady to boot. She came back into my life and the feeling in the dream was dread and joy. I haven't had such a vivid dream like that in a long time.
Erase:
1 a : to rub or scrape out (as written, painted, or engraved letters) <erase an error>
b : to remove written or drawn marks from <erase a blackboard>
c : to remove (recorded matter) from a magnetic medium; also : to remove recorded matter
2 a : to remove from existence or memory as if by erasing
b : to nullify the effect or force of
Synonyms: abolish, black out, blot out, cancel, clean (up), efface, eradicate, annihilate, expunge, exterminate, extirpate, liquidate, obliterate, root (out), rub out, snuff (out), stamp (out), sweep (away), wipe out
Just imagine being erased from someones life. You where penciled in there daily book of life and then your not. Memories seem to fade away like water damaged pages. Your feelings are smeared like run off ink, leaving a disaster of a mess and undecipherable feelings. How does one rewrite there future when it was all laid out in front of you? How can the person you pledged your heart to erase you like a bad line in a song. How can one move on to a new canvas and paint another picture? I tell you how or should I say I've been told how. Just do it. Like the commercials, just do it cause you have to. Just like in a war there will be casualties. There will be victories. There will defeat. There will many to take place of the fallen. It's a necessary evil of life. To gain and lose. Everyone loses but not everyone wins. I wanna win for once. I want to be at the top for as long as possible before I'm erased once more from the book of life. I'm tried of being written over and being nothing but a smudge on someone's page. I want to be in the title, I want to be in the headline. I want to just be something to my someone.
Once again my soul purges itself through my writing and at the end of it I have this to share.
All in my eyes
Are my secrets
Buried lay my lies
All in my eyes
I battle my tendencies
The gateway to my life
All in my eyes
Cemented are my truths
Covering my weaknesses
Living to die
All in my eyes
Hide behind sunglasses
Giving rest to my mind
All in my eyes
The seasons change
Momentum carry
This plight of mine
All in my eyes
Days accumulate
Nights punish me
Time passes me by
All in my eyes
My feeling suffer
My heart incinerates
My vision goes awry
All in my eyes
Judged by peers
Sentenced by emotions
Executed time after time
All in my eyes
Shades of brown witness miracles
Shutter by evil
Shape this tale of mine
All in your eyes
I am weakness
I am invincible
I'm far from being fine
Giving up doesn't always mean your weak, sometimes it means your strong enough to let go. To be continued...
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
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