I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
I would like to start off by saying I actually took a walk today a couple of times. To many of you this is a common everyday process but for me it was quite an accomplishment today. By the way have I mentioned that I really hate mosquitoes. I swear they're worse than vampires. I was freaking walking and it landed on my forehead going to town on me. How can I not know this bug is sucking my brain juice out of my head. Now I'm obsessively picking at this bite still in awe of this stupid little parasite. My life has become a series incredible small steps. Brushing my teeth, taking a shower, trying to have a sleeping schedule, taking my medication. These basic functions in my life have been demonized in my head to become outrageous tasks to fulfill. There is no spoon, there is no spoon. Some I say this is some sort of spiritual healing, journey, whatever. I think of it as more of me digressing back to almost an infant type of stage. I was going to write some more stuff, but I got interrupted by some nonsense that I don't remember anymore.
My old lady tried to get in touch with me today it flustered me there for a bit but I'm recovering a lot quicker from these um interruptions. It can't be a good thing when someone calls you and you feel ill immediately. I understand that she wants to talk to her children, but I believe that she forfeited that right when she walked out on them. Honestly what kind of parenting can you possibly do over the phone. Asking what there day is like and what they had for lunch can not replace a kiss or hug from mom. I mean for Christ sake I heard my daughter praying last night and it broke my heart. She was praying for her mommy to come home and for the cops not to come and take her away. I was blown away by this. A little back story on this. The cops have come by because I haven't pretty much spoken to her since she left about 5 weeks ago. I guess a parent can request the police to do a well being check on the kids. What she's telling them is beyond me. They are feed, clothed, and take showers daily. They ride their bikes, watch t.v. and go to church 3 times a week. There good. Do they miss her I'm sure its mom. Do they ask about her sadly not really at all. Whatever me and her have between us is between us. But it honestly kills me that her relationship with the kids is so detached. I could never imagine at their age none the less, 11, 7, and 7 by the way, is the way it is. She has a tendency to threaten things and the cops are one of her many weapons. There's so much more details to this ongoing saga. Unfortunately my brain is at capacity of what I can talk about right now. All I know is angers me very much so that this is happening. I started writing some things down. By the end of it. This is what spewed out, take it for what it is...
Pieces of you spread among
The dying
The living
The fruit of spring
Pieces of you hang from the sky
Surveying victims, spreading disease
Pieces of you create cancer
So new parasites can host and breed
Pieces of you cut off fingers
Stretch out anguish
Bleed out innocence
For all to see
Pieces of you light up the darkness
Mark your territory
To plan out deceit
Pieces of you cut like razors
That dig trenches
For scars to seek
Pieces of you penetrate my defenses
Destroying my dignity
Washing out any peace
Pieces of you haunt my eyelids
Taunt my existence
Blur my hopes and dreams
Pieces of you bring me happiness
Short lived by cancer
All gone in weeks
Pieces of you dwell in me
That mask good feelings
That fail me daily
That cement my irrational thinking
Pieces of you live in shadows
Waiting for sunlight
Festering in the misery of others
Pieces of you I will love forever
Will bring smiles with pleasure
That will fade with the test of time
You were once my cherished treasure
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
My old lady tried to get in touch with me today it flustered me there for a bit but I'm recovering a lot quicker from these um interruptions. It can't be a good thing when someone calls you and you feel ill immediately. I understand that she wants to talk to her children, but I believe that she forfeited that right when she walked out on them. Honestly what kind of parenting can you possibly do over the phone. Asking what there day is like and what they had for lunch can not replace a kiss or hug from mom. I mean for Christ sake I heard my daughter praying last night and it broke my heart. She was praying for her mommy to come home and for the cops not to come and take her away. I was blown away by this. A little back story on this. The cops have come by because I haven't pretty much spoken to her since she left about 5 weeks ago. I guess a parent can request the police to do a well being check on the kids. What she's telling them is beyond me. They are feed, clothed, and take showers daily. They ride their bikes, watch t.v. and go to church 3 times a week. There good. Do they miss her I'm sure its mom. Do they ask about her sadly not really at all. Whatever me and her have between us is between us. But it honestly kills me that her relationship with the kids is so detached. I could never imagine at their age none the less, 11, 7, and 7 by the way, is the way it is. She has a tendency to threaten things and the cops are one of her many weapons. There's so much more details to this ongoing saga. Unfortunately my brain is at capacity of what I can talk about right now. All I know is angers me very much so that this is happening. I started writing some things down. By the end of it. This is what spewed out, take it for what it is...
Pieces of you spread among
The dying
The living
The fruit of spring
Pieces of you hang from the sky
Surveying victims, spreading disease
Pieces of you create cancer
So new parasites can host and breed
Pieces of you cut off fingers
Stretch out anguish
Bleed out innocence
For all to see
Pieces of you light up the darkness
Mark your territory
To plan out deceit
Pieces of you cut like razors
That dig trenches
For scars to seek
Pieces of you penetrate my defenses
Destroying my dignity
Washing out any peace
Pieces of you haunt my eyelids
Taunt my existence
Blur my hopes and dreams
Pieces of you bring me happiness
Short lived by cancer
All gone in weeks
Pieces of you dwell in me
That mask good feelings
That fail me daily
That cement my irrational thinking
Pieces of you live in shadows
Waiting for sunlight
Festering in the misery of others
Pieces of you I will love forever
Will bring smiles with pleasure
That will fade with the test of time
You were once my cherished treasure
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
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