I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
Once again it 1:51 a.m. and I'm as wide awake as a coked up baby. I wonder into the future trying to capture some progress and bring some back with me. Is it Wednesday or Tuesday. I can't tell no more. This bunker of a tomb I have encased myself in barely lets the light in as darkness is much easier to accept. No shadows, no heat, just the silent and chill emptiness that covers and protects me from the thorns of life. Kisses are short lived and always sold out. Love changes like the weather despite our best abilities to predict it. Forgiveness is as rare and precious as gold. We all think we harbor such riches, but we are broke and spiteful. My heart is battle tested and yet it fails me constantly leading me awry. My mind is always right and logical but weak like a moth to a flame. This hurricane we call life is beautiful in pictures, but dangerous in real life. So many episodes to be played out in this constant human drama we play in. Our roles ever changing. Son, daughter, sister, brother. Friend, lover, boyfriend, fiancee, father, mother. Divorcee, widow, single grandmother, grandpa, cousin, uncle , aunt, stepson, stepfather. We have all been given a scrpit to give us guidelines on our methods. We all forget our places, we all mess up our lines. There are no retakes, no one can edit our mistakes and no one can cut together our best times. I speak from my heart I write threw my mind. I hurt from the inside, I love through blind eyes. I ignore all the speeches, I forget all the advice. I'm as dumb as a rock with my feelings. Quick like whip with the words I fuse together and make rhyme. My eyes burn from all these reflections I conjure, these stories I write. I engorge my sadness with sweetness that accumulate on my stomach, my chest, my thighs. I kill my brain cells with reality shows, video games and bottles of beer that buzz my free time. I take 2 steps forward only twist my ankle sitting out on progress, change and possibly good times.
My brothers in life give me praise and good spirits to heal my ankle to improve my stride.
My past has definitely left its impression on my daily struggle, my losing fight. I lay my soul to sleep to awake to the voices of my legacy, awaiting there chief. 6:30 a.m. the siren of duty calls. I'm awaken from the only peaceful place I know unfortunately. A place where no phone, no game, no voice can infiltrate me, my nook, my sleep. Clueless to my struggle, busy with there own, my offspring gather thier tools for a another day of wisdom. I send them out into the world to live, to feel, to pass the time. I come back to my bunker, to starve this soul of mine. Into my happiness I drift, I wallow, I close my eyes.
I awake again from my peaceful place and its 1:51 p.m. this cycle is retarded. The stalemate I feel is so strong it almost feels like its romancing me.
Once again it 1:51 a.m. and I'm as wide awake as a coked up baby. I wonder into the future trying to capture some progress and bring some back with me. Is it Wednesday or Tuesday. I can't tell no more. This bunker of a tomb I have encased myself in barely lets the light in as darkness is much easier to accept. No shadows, no heat, just the silent and chill emptiness that covers and protects me from the thorns of life. Kisses are short lived and always sold out. Love changes like the weather despite our best abilities to predict it. Forgiveness is as rare and precious as gold. We all think we harbor such riches, but we are broke and spiteful. My heart is battle tested and yet it fails me constantly leading me awry. My mind is always right and logical but weak like a moth to a flame. This hurricane we call life is beautiful in pictures, but dangerous in real life. So many episodes to be played out in this constant human drama we play in. Our roles ever changing. Son, daughter, sister, brother. Friend, lover, boyfriend, fiancee, father, mother. Divorcee, widow, single grandmother, grandpa, cousin, uncle , aunt, stepson, stepfather. We have all been given a scrpit to give us guidelines on our methods. We all forget our places, we all mess up our lines. There are no retakes, no one can edit our mistakes and no one can cut together our best times. I speak from my heart I write threw my mind. I hurt from the inside, I love through blind eyes. I ignore all the speeches, I forget all the advice. I'm as dumb as a rock with my feelings. Quick like whip with the words I fuse together and make rhyme. My eyes burn from all these reflections I conjure, these stories I write. I engorge my sadness with sweetness that accumulate on my stomach, my chest, my thighs. I kill my brain cells with reality shows, video games and bottles of beer that buzz my free time. I take 2 steps forward only twist my ankle sitting out on progress, change and possibly good times.
My brothers in life give me praise and good spirits to heal my ankle to improve my stride.
My past has definitely left its impression on my daily struggle, my losing fight. I lay my soul to sleep to awake to the voices of my legacy, awaiting there chief. 6:30 a.m. the siren of duty calls. I'm awaken from the only peaceful place I know unfortunately. A place where no phone, no game, no voice can infiltrate me, my nook, my sleep. Clueless to my struggle, busy with there own, my offspring gather thier tools for a another day of wisdom. I send them out into the world to live, to feel, to pass the time. I come back to my bunker, to starve this soul of mine. Into my happiness I drift, I wallow, I close my eyes.
I awake again from my peaceful place and its 1:51 p.m. this cycle is retarded. The stalemate I feel is so strong it almost feels like its romancing me.
Just feasted on the wonderful dinner my dear mother made for us. I don't say this enough but I would be lost and homeless without my crazy mother. That is the highest compliment I can offer. I mean all mothers are a little crazy that's what makes them our moms. Dad's are the boogeyman that keep us honest and in line. I'm feeling really blah today and not very inspired to write much about nothing. I know this is a basic log of my thoughts and feelings, but I feel I should have some insight or be entertaining. I looked through some of the stuff I've written in the last few weeks. Here is one of those pieces.
When the sunshine stalks the day
Darkness sleeps away
My eyes shutter to the storm
Lighting crashes in waves
My arms soak in the rain
Memories push in the strain
Causing swelling, raising pain
Blocking sunlight from my veins
My pale exposed heart elevates
Through dense pitfalls and mistakes
My legs carry her dead weight
Dragging me down to my restless place
When the sunshine breaks the rain
Happiness gets washed away
Only in a song
Will this demonstrate
One life, one moment, fades away
I'm out of steam qnd have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
When the sunshine stalks the day
Darkness sleeps away
My eyes shutter to the storm
Lighting crashes in waves
My arms soak in the rain
Memories push in the strain
Causing swelling, raising pain
Blocking sunlight from my veins
My pale exposed heart elevates
Through dense pitfalls and mistakes
My legs carry her dead weight
Dragging me down to my restless place
When the sunshine breaks the rain
Happiness gets washed away
Only in a song
Will this demonstrate
One life, one moment, fades away
I'm out of steam qnd have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
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