I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
Its 3:50 in the morning and I should of been asleep like 4 hours ago at least. I lay here in my stench that life affords me on a daily basis. Everything in life rots, if not constantly maintained.
The beauty life gives us comes with such filth if ignored. Makes sense I guess, not everything can be sunshine and flowers. While people's lives are put through the most extreme situations as I write my stupid blog, I question my purpose. I question the chain of events that brought me to this place and time in this massive universe. What's so special about me, my kids, my family, my thoughts, etc you get my point. Is it the ability of my feeble mind that really matters? No one can look threw your eyes, cry your tears, flinch and grasp when you feel pain. We are pitched on a daily basis this romanticized vision of life. As if we all get our very own version of "This is your life", instead so many of us fall into this coma of repetition. By the time we get a few minutes of clarity, its 5 years later. Then the fear of change, the fear of risk, and my favorite the risk of failing silence any voice we mustard the courage to even think. A few more moments like that through out your life and you look around and your on your last breath and its over. Then what death, the great unknown. The one thing we are trained to be blind to with money, fame, delusion, and empty dreams. I'm not trying to bum you out or to scare you. This is my life, this is my morning, afternoon and night. This is what transpires in all of us. Some are more in tune than others. I bleed, I see, I need just like you. I need to turn the switch off so I can reset my brain. So as I lay in my stench blinding my fate by watching dancing with the stars on hulu Plus, I'm in no better shape than any of you. Its worse I think cause I know it. Fml....lol
Now that I woke up from my dysfunctional sleeping pattern, I feel even worse. Its really gotten to a point where the drive to become anything other than a waste of space is slowly fading into oblivion. For God's sake its 1 p.m. my mouth is dry and infected, from not brushing for 3 days. The stench of our precious gift life is slowly eating away at my body and soul. I feel like I'm stuck in the movie groundhog day. Where is the eject button to this awful joke of a life. Believe it or not a video game console, Xbox, my gaming nerds, and the t.v. show the office are my painkillers for the soul at the moment. Its raining to boot.
Once again the enthusiasm of my children snap me out if it for a second only to up my anxiety cause I'm failing them as a father at the moment. My head is numb cause of the medication I injested. It keeps things quiet for a while. I washed my body of the accumulated filth that I've been harboring like a port for the last couple of days. As I go about my business she creeps up from where ever she laid dormant. And as she creeps into my mind I spew this out
She brings me coffee
She brings me tea
She drags in sadness
So I can't sleep
She makes me nauseous
She induces my sleep
She planted doubt
In my field of dreams
She leaves me wanting
She keeps me thirsty
No one is satisfy
The game is mounting
She paints a picture
Using houses and trees
She bleeds the colors
Mixing them with deceit
She brings me coffee
She gives me cream
I swallow the sugar
Its all bittersweet
She drags in hope
She pulls it a seat
Only for the chair to crumble
Like leaves off a tree
She sings me songs
She feeds me treats
Sugar and words dissolve
Pain and misery stay for keeps
My time for this is endless
I seem to enjoy this jazz
Riddles and poems to distract
This fool with his pen, coffee, and open gash
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
Now that I woke up from my dysfunctional sleeping pattern, I feel even worse. Its really gotten to a point where the drive to become anything other than a waste of space is slowly fading into oblivion. For God's sake its 1 p.m. my mouth is dry and infected, from not brushing for 3 days. The stench of our precious gift life is slowly eating away at my body and soul. I feel like I'm stuck in the movie groundhog day. Where is the eject button to this awful joke of a life. Believe it or not a video game console, Xbox, my gaming nerds, and the t.v. show the office are my painkillers for the soul at the moment. Its raining to boot.
Once again the enthusiasm of my children snap me out if it for a second only to up my anxiety cause I'm failing them as a father at the moment. My head is numb cause of the medication I injested. It keeps things quiet for a while. I washed my body of the accumulated filth that I've been harboring like a port for the last couple of days. As I go about my business she creeps up from where ever she laid dormant. And as she creeps into my mind I spew this out
She brings me coffee
She brings me tea
She drags in sadness
So I can't sleep
She makes me nauseous
She induces my sleep
She planted doubt
In my field of dreams
She leaves me wanting
She keeps me thirsty
No one is satisfy
The game is mounting
She paints a picture
Using houses and trees
She bleeds the colors
Mixing them with deceit
She brings me coffee
She gives me cream
I swallow the sugar
Its all bittersweet
She drags in hope
She pulls it a seat
Only for the chair to crumble
Like leaves off a tree
She sings me songs
She feeds me treats
Sugar and words dissolve
Pain and misery stay for keeps
My time for this is endless
I seem to enjoy this jazz
Riddles and poems to distract
This fool with his pen, coffee, and open gash
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
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