I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
The dark smothered me as he gently but his hands on my back. The fear poured out of me as quickly as my tears. I didn't want to see his eyes. I didn't want to hear his voice. "Everything will be ok" he reassured me. His lies vibrated off his forked tongue. What have I done? Not again. Why am I frozen in fear? He slipped his hand down my back ending his journey at my tail bone. I softly say no. My eyes shut as I pray to god to save me. There is no respond. I am left alone. I am to bear the full force of evil and twisted sexuality. Only the echo of me saying no over and over gently fill the room. They say everything happens for a reason. I don't think there would ever be a good enough reason for anyone especially a child to endure this. There is no escape decending into my nightmare. My mind shutters not being able to process these events. As the elastic of my underwear gets pulled like a lion tearing into a gazelle, I go blank. I don't remember anything but tears and betrayal. I remember my little hands trying. They tried so hard to fight him off. But like many aspects of my life I failed. The beast has won again and all I can do is just wait for it to be over. As the security of dawn broke the darkness around me, I remember being sick. I remember being in the bathroom and not knowing why I was going so much. I unfortunately know now. I know now. They say ignorance is bliss. Godamn me for being smart, lol. What contiunes to happen in these many chapters of my life will have to wait for another day. Another day where courage will sit next to me again and hold my hand.
What I just wrote I have not processed fully till this very moment. I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing. I know I've carried this part of my life in a box for a very long time. What is going to happen for opening this box I will only learn in time. Time has been a hell of teacher of mine. I have always wondered what the ramifications of these events have and will impact my life. I really had nothing planned to speak off today. It was a pretty pale exsistance of a day. To tell you the truth I was pretty worned out from yestetdays festivities. I want to end this post with a suggestion from a friend.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is," the man replies." You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks." No thanks," the man replies." I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues." OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he was in." Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies." TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy." It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off." Yes it is," replies the man." Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks." OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his dis-advantage." Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch." "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy." How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy." Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says." SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"the father explains as he hauls the child away.At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.
Love is but a moment in time. Faith is believing love is there when we feel it not, life is the struggle to attain love and have the faith to keep it for as long as we can...Richie G...
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
The dark smothered me as he gently but his hands on my back. The fear poured out of me as quickly as my tears. I didn't want to see his eyes. I didn't want to hear his voice. "Everything will be ok" he reassured me. His lies vibrated off his forked tongue. What have I done? Not again. Why am I frozen in fear? He slipped his hand down my back ending his journey at my tail bone. I softly say no. My eyes shut as I pray to god to save me. There is no respond. I am left alone. I am to bear the full force of evil and twisted sexuality. Only the echo of me saying no over and over gently fill the room. They say everything happens for a reason. I don't think there would ever be a good enough reason for anyone especially a child to endure this. There is no escape decending into my nightmare. My mind shutters not being able to process these events. As the elastic of my underwear gets pulled like a lion tearing into a gazelle, I go blank. I don't remember anything but tears and betrayal. I remember my little hands trying. They tried so hard to fight him off. But like many aspects of my life I failed. The beast has won again and all I can do is just wait for it to be over. As the security of dawn broke the darkness around me, I remember being sick. I remember being in the bathroom and not knowing why I was going so much. I unfortunately know now. I know now. They say ignorance is bliss. Godamn me for being smart, lol. What contiunes to happen in these many chapters of my life will have to wait for another day. Another day where courage will sit next to me again and hold my hand.
What I just wrote I have not processed fully till this very moment. I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing. I know I've carried this part of my life in a box for a very long time. What is going to happen for opening this box I will only learn in time. Time has been a hell of teacher of mine. I have always wondered what the ramifications of these events have and will impact my life. I really had nothing planned to speak off today. It was a pretty pale exsistance of a day. To tell you the truth I was pretty worned out from yestetdays festivities. I want to end this post with a suggestion from a friend.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is," the man replies." You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks." No thanks," the man replies." I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues." OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he was in." Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies." TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy." It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off." Yes it is," replies the man." Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks." OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his dis-advantage." Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch." "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy." How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy." Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says." SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"the father explains as he hauls the child away.At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.
Love is but a moment in time. Faith is believing love is there when we feel it not, life is the struggle to attain love and have the faith to keep it for as long as we can...Richie G...
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
No comments:
Post a Comment