I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
I think I'm ready to just to unleash what I been camping on for a few days. Let me start this story.
It all started at the beginig of May end of April. Things were coming to a head between me and my old lady. We got back together around mid March. Those details I'll leave for another day. Anyways she came to a descion to leave me for the same guy she was with when she first left in December. Lets call him little douche. So the whole time she was with me she was speaking to little douche, I knew the whole time as she was using him for money. Little douche would cry for her and pine and print pictures and hang them on the walls. I know what you guy's are thinking. Why would I allow such a thing with little douche?
Here's my logic. If someone is with you they are with you. If someone is going to leave you they are going to leave you. Pretty sound, simple logic. So going on this logic I allowed this to go. I figured if I was going to trust her might as well be now under the greatest of temptations. Well she comes to me at one point and tells me that she's developing feelings for little douche. My heart dropped like a runaway elevator. I guess a tiger can't really change thier stripes. So every "I TOLD YOU SO!" echos through my mind in a ripple effect. I am now the man with no face cause of the respect I have lost in people's eyes. So she makes arrangements with little douche to leave by bus. The whole time she was packing I was telling her that it wasn't to late to change her mind. That if wars could be solved our issues would seem miniscule in comparison. She refused my offer and her last chance to make things right. As the moment of truth finally came to fruition, I snapped like a chicken bone. My body went numb and my mind started screaming from the inside out. I started yelling no, no, no with me holding my head as if I didn't want it to fall from my shoulders. I tried to escape the moment but this was real and this now. The rivers of tears saturated my cheek bones indenting the pain wailing from my soul. I look for a way out of this undying suffering. My swollen eyes shift all the sudden to the steak knives in the kitchen. Thoughts of a swift thrust to the heart cross my mind for a second. Images of not seeing my children and love ones snap me right back into reality. My vision blurs, my mind invites chaos in again. I am thrust back into hell. My knees buckle, my heart accerlates, my breathing becomes so labored. I feel like I am my own witness to my my demise. This train has derailed and I'm bracing for impact. I barley made it to the door where my feet make a sudden stop and I suddenly find myself staring at the ceiling as my body finally catches up with my mind and gives up to. I hear the her voice. I hear her cry out my name. I hear concern, I hear fear. She gently kneels down next to me as my body begins to seize. For the first time in my life I had no control over my body. I started to tense up and then release, tense up and jerk. My mind went dark. The fear of death had its hold on me. This is it. This is what death feels like as I struggled to regain order. My breathing effected my speech andI ccouldn't communicate. The light that entered my eyes seem to want to escape more rapidly than usual. She's my witness. Till death due us part. She held my hand and she cradled my head. She promised me that she wasn't going to abandon me. She was going to be by my side. She screamed for help, she saw the fear in my eyes. I bought what she was selling. It turned out to be a production number on her part. She told me what I wanted to hear at the most vulnerable moment of my existence. Of course I wouldn't find this out till later on that day as I waited for her to be by my side. Instead a phone call with this information is what I received. As she left me for good I warned her with this. That I wouldn't be there no more as her safety net. I'm not the back up no more. That she has walked out on her family for the last time. All of this brings us to what happened a few days ago...to be continued.
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
It all started at the beginig of May end of April. Things were coming to a head between me and my old lady. We got back together around mid March. Those details I'll leave for another day. Anyways she came to a descion to leave me for the same guy she was with when she first left in December. Lets call him little douche. So the whole time she was with me she was speaking to little douche, I knew the whole time as she was using him for money. Little douche would cry for her and pine and print pictures and hang them on the walls. I know what you guy's are thinking. Why would I allow such a thing with little douche?
Here's my logic. If someone is with you they are with you. If someone is going to leave you they are going to leave you. Pretty sound, simple logic. So going on this logic I allowed this to go. I figured if I was going to trust her might as well be now under the greatest of temptations. Well she comes to me at one point and tells me that she's developing feelings for little douche. My heart dropped like a runaway elevator. I guess a tiger can't really change thier stripes. So every "I TOLD YOU SO!" echos through my mind in a ripple effect. I am now the man with no face cause of the respect I have lost in people's eyes. So she makes arrangements with little douche to leave by bus. The whole time she was packing I was telling her that it wasn't to late to change her mind. That if wars could be solved our issues would seem miniscule in comparison. She refused my offer and her last chance to make things right. As the moment of truth finally came to fruition, I snapped like a chicken bone. My body went numb and my mind started screaming from the inside out. I started yelling no, no, no with me holding my head as if I didn't want it to fall from my shoulders. I tried to escape the moment but this was real and this now. The rivers of tears saturated my cheek bones indenting the pain wailing from my soul. I look for a way out of this undying suffering. My swollen eyes shift all the sudden to the steak knives in the kitchen. Thoughts of a swift thrust to the heart cross my mind for a second. Images of not seeing my children and love ones snap me right back into reality. My vision blurs, my mind invites chaos in again. I am thrust back into hell. My knees buckle, my heart accerlates, my breathing becomes so labored. I feel like I am my own witness to my my demise. This train has derailed and I'm bracing for impact. I barley made it to the door where my feet make a sudden stop and I suddenly find myself staring at the ceiling as my body finally catches up with my mind and gives up to. I hear the her voice. I hear her cry out my name. I hear concern, I hear fear. She gently kneels down next to me as my body begins to seize. For the first time in my life I had no control over my body. I started to tense up and then release, tense up and jerk. My mind went dark. The fear of death had its hold on me. This is it. This is what death feels like as I struggled to regain order. My breathing effected my speech andI ccouldn't communicate. The light that entered my eyes seem to want to escape more rapidly than usual. She's my witness. Till death due us part. She held my hand and she cradled my head. She promised me that she wasn't going to abandon me. She was going to be by my side. She screamed for help, she saw the fear in my eyes. I bought what she was selling. It turned out to be a production number on her part. She told me what I wanted to hear at the most vulnerable moment of my existence. Of course I wouldn't find this out till later on that day as I waited for her to be by my side. Instead a phone call with this information is what I received. As she left me for good I warned her with this. That I wouldn't be there no more as her safety net. I'm not the back up no more. That she has walked out on her family for the last time. All of this brings us to what happened a few days ago...to be continued.
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
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