I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
per·cep·tion
1 a : a result of perceiving : observation (see perceive )
b : a mental image : concept
2 obsolete : consciousness
3 a : awareness of the elements of environment through physical sensation <color perception>
b : physical sensation interpreted in the light of experience
4 a : quick, acute, and intuitive cognition : appreciation
b : a capacity for comprehension
I was racking my brain all day trying to figure out my life. It brought me to a conclusion of utter panic. One day all of this heart ache, this stress, these routines will be forgotten like yesterday's news. My grandfather on my dad's side has been dead for almost 20 years. I remember the little things. I know he loved Sunkist soda. He wore suspenders and slacks with a buttoned up shirt regardless of the weather. We never had a conversation that resonated enough for me to even speak of to this day. He was simply papa. The man that would take me to the baseball field down the block in East Orange, NJ. We would go through the hole in the fence to go pick up baseballs. We would find all these foul balls that the college team would never pick up and send them to the Dominican Republic. I speak of him specifically because death came to him first in my life. My perception of life before that was an eternal one. How could life possibly disrupt my perfect little life by taking the people I love and known to keep me safe. Here I am 20 years later and I can probably count in one hand how many times he has crossed my mind. Which brings me back to my panic state. As I continue to dig my grave a little deeper everyday my mind starts drifting. It starts to paint all these visions of my future or lack there of. Every word I write every feeling I experience is all for nothing. Just like my grandfather my struggles are a mood point pretty much. Everyone got there own issues and worries to address. It's very conceited to think anyone would make room in thier life for my baggage and same goes for me. At the same time human interactions is the driving force of life. No one likes not being loved, not being attended to, being forgotten. We are all on a one way ticket while we are here. The pressures of living is what keeps us preoccupied with the unavoidable finale.
death\ˈdeth\
1 a : a permanent cessation of all vital functions : the end of life — compare brain death
b : an instance of dying <a disease causing many deaths>
2 a : the cause or occasion of loss of life <drinking was the death of him>
b : a cause of ruin <the slander that was death to my character — Wilkie Collins>
3 capitalized : the destroyer of life represented usually as a skeleton with a scythe
4 : the state of being dead
5 a : the passing or destruction of something inanimate <the death of vaudeville>
b : extinction
6 : civil death
7 : slaughter
I put it like this for dramatic effect. My favorite one is extinction. Its so epic sounding. So here I am trying to analyze the reason we are here. The biggest fear of all is that we are here for no reason at all. That would make it all seem kind of pointless. Or maybe I just need to keep busy and not think so much and ruin life's great secret. No one will ever know.
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
per·cep·tion
1 a : a result of perceiving : observation (see perceive )
b : a mental image : concept
2 obsolete : consciousness
3 a : awareness of the elements of environment through physical sensation <color perception>
b : physical sensation interpreted in the light of experience
4 a : quick, acute, and intuitive cognition : appreciation
b : a capacity for comprehension
I was racking my brain all day trying to figure out my life. It brought me to a conclusion of utter panic. One day all of this heart ache, this stress, these routines will be forgotten like yesterday's news. My grandfather on my dad's side has been dead for almost 20 years. I remember the little things. I know he loved Sunkist soda. He wore suspenders and slacks with a buttoned up shirt regardless of the weather. We never had a conversation that resonated enough for me to even speak of to this day. He was simply papa. The man that would take me to the baseball field down the block in East Orange, NJ. We would go through the hole in the fence to go pick up baseballs. We would find all these foul balls that the college team would never pick up and send them to the Dominican Republic. I speak of him specifically because death came to him first in my life. My perception of life before that was an eternal one. How could life possibly disrupt my perfect little life by taking the people I love and known to keep me safe. Here I am 20 years later and I can probably count in one hand how many times he has crossed my mind. Which brings me back to my panic state. As I continue to dig my grave a little deeper everyday my mind starts drifting. It starts to paint all these visions of my future or lack there of. Every word I write every feeling I experience is all for nothing. Just like my grandfather my struggles are a mood point pretty much. Everyone got there own issues and worries to address. It's very conceited to think anyone would make room in thier life for my baggage and same goes for me. At the same time human interactions is the driving force of life. No one likes not being loved, not being attended to, being forgotten. We are all on a one way ticket while we are here. The pressures of living is what keeps us preoccupied with the unavoidable finale.
death\ˈdeth\
1 a : a permanent cessation of all vital functions : the end of life — compare brain death
b : an instance of dying <a disease causing many deaths>
2 a : the cause or occasion of loss of life <drinking was the death of him>
b : a cause of ruin <the slander that was death to my character — Wilkie Collins>
3 capitalized : the destroyer of life represented usually as a skeleton with a scythe
4 : the state of being dead
5 a : the passing or destruction of something inanimate <the death of vaudeville>
b : extinction
6 : civil death
7 : slaughter
I put it like this for dramatic effect. My favorite one is extinction. Its so epic sounding. So here I am trying to analyze the reason we are here. The biggest fear of all is that we are here for no reason at all. That would make it all seem kind of pointless. Or maybe I just need to keep busy and not think so much and ruin life's great secret. No one will ever know.
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight.
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