I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
The fact my relationship with my son is so good makes me forgiving of my father and also appreciative.
-Anthony Kiedis-
fa·ther
noun
1 a : a man who has begotten a child; also : sire 3
3 a : one related to another in a way suggesting that of father to child
b : an old man — used as a respectful form of address
5 a : one that originates or institutes
b : source
c : prototype
fa·ther·hood \-ˌhu̇d\ noun
fa·ther·less \-ləs\ adjective
fa·ther·like \-ˌlīk\ adjective or adverb
Synonyms: dad, daddy, old man, pa, papa (also poppa),
2
father
transitive verb
1 a : beget
c : to accept responsibility for
2 a : to fix the paternity or origin of
b : to place responsibility for the origin or cause of
intransitive verb
: to care for or look after someone as a father might
Nathaniel the name of my son. The name that opened my mind and my heart to the world of love. June 14, 2001 he escaped the womb, entered the world and began his journey towards me. I am not his biological father, that man's lost became my treasured second in command. I wouldn't know it till almost 2 years later when we finally crossed paths. It started with a phone call believe it or not. At the time I worked in an adult store, you guys can figure it out I'm sure. I worked the graveyard shift so I got to meet the creatures of the night. Let's just say they only come out at night for a reason. Well one night I get a phone call at work from this chick. She goes on to tell me how cute I was and would I mind if she came down to visit me. Me thinking this was a joke, cause I would get phone calls like this all the time, mainly from dudes, said sure why not. To my utter shock and now highly anxious response walks in this beautiful angel. Of course I'm speaking of my old lady. I fumbled and stumble through words in my head. I didn't have any courage to speak any of them and I went into immediate avoidance mode. Which is don't make I contact and keep my head slightly down. So as this angel spoke to me my pulse elevated and blood started to leave the tips of my fingers. To my amazement she offered me her number and in a petrified voice I vomitted the words "yeah sure". I tell you what I hope my son will never ever have the social awkwardness his old man carries. So one thing lead to another and we finally hook up at my house. No hanky panky believe it or not the first night, but I bring this up for a reason. As we layed there in each other's arm, my dreams of acceptance and affectation crossed the relam of fantasy and into reality. While I absorbed my nirvana state of mind, she spoke in slight tears and from her heart. "I always dreamed of finding someone like you that my son could look up to and call daddy one day". This just got real, oh did it get real. I sat in silence and played with her hair until she fell asleep. The fear and anxiety came rushing like a flood ready to devour a valley. How do I respond to such emotion, such an honor, such scary shit? I really didn't give it much thought until the day I got to meet my son. He was in his jammies and he was running around the coffee table on his tippy toes thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. I was like a sponge soaking all of this in and before I knew it she put him on my lap and he was talking to me. I was so scared and in awe of this little man. His unconditional love was so infectious. Here I am my first real relationship of my life and I am begotten this amazing child. I was the kind of person that hated children. Who thought they where severely overrated. Everybody with there cameras taking pictures and telling there boring stupid stories about there ugly kids. How there stupid kids where so smart and talented. Yeah I was really bad about that. Of course now my kids take the best pics are smarter than your ugly stupid kids and I have a million kid stories to tell, lol. So here I go prototype dad with my prototype son. It took a lot of mistakes to figure out a lot good things. That's one of the great things about Nate. He was my guinea pig and he never gave me shit for it. I love that about that kid. I mean to be thrust into fatherhood like that and accept responsibility for a life, for life, is no walk in the park. But a walk I gladly take. I now understand my father's gaze upon my shoulders and his love. His words of wisdom and common sense. Dad you did good cause I remembered and I treasure it all. Son I love you, you make me wanna strive to be the best man I can be so I can make you proud when you speak these words." That's my dad". May you always know I couldn't ask for a better son to carry my legacy, my morals, my love.
Enjoy your day son.
It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. -Helen Rowland -
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
No comments:
Post a Comment