I would like to start by saying I have pretty worn out shoes. So I would suggest some clean socks for this brief journey today.
"One cannot remain the same. Art is a mirror which should show many reflections, and the artist should not always show the same face, or the face becomes a mask."
- Yvette Gilbert, 1865-1944
We are all a creation of many small parts. Our parents, our environment, our friends, our education and geographical location just to name a few. Just in a physical sense there are 206 bones and 78 organs in the human body. So by far we are not simple creatures. We dark we are light. We create balance we create war. I just want to share this conversation with you as I try and find the genesis of me.
Friend:
I am very unbiased. I don't care if you're family or not...if you're wrong...you're wrong. I don't ever take sides. I see things for what they are...taking all of my personal emotions out of all situations.
Me:
Me too
Friend:
Bad decisions come from people when they use their heart instead of their brain to make decisions.
Friend:
As you well know now. ;-)
I am very unbiased. I don't care if you're family or not...if you're wrong...you're wrong. I don't ever take sides. I see things for what they are...taking all of my personal emotions out of all situations.
Me:
Me too
Friend:
Bad decisions come from people when they use their heart instead of their brain to make decisions.
Friend:
As you well know now. ;-)
Me:
Except when it comes to my own life
Me:
Obviously
Friend:
You're heart is always gonna hurt....mine does all the time....but i stop, think with my brain and my heart is just gonna have to deal with it. I do what is smart and good for me and my family.
Me:
Train wreck there lol
Except when it comes to my own life
Me:
Obviously
Friend:
You're heart is always gonna hurt....mine does all the time....but i stop, think with my brain and my heart is just gonna have to deal with it. I do what is smart and good for me and my family.
Me:
Train wreck there lol
Friend:
Well, you're a hopeless romantic...I am one too. You're a nurturer and because you've had so many turmoil in your own personal life, you want to fix others.
Friend:
It happens. You just have to understand that you can't fix anyone. EVER! Only yourself.
Me:
I'm smiling cause you know your shit
Me:
I wanna fix everyone but myself
Friend:
By fixing and helping others....you feel a sense of satisfaction for your own sadness. But in reality, you are avoiding your own inner pain because you don't want to deal with it.
Me:
Spot on
Friend:
Trust me....I have learned a lot and having that natural sixth sense I have....I can read just about anyone once I sit back, listen and observe.
Friend:
I don't have to know what your pain is. I only see it because of how hard you hurt because you're trying to fix someone else.
Me:
Don't tell my secret it's all I have left lol
Friend:
And believe me....all and everything anyone ever says to me...dies with me.
Me:
I have always been an observer since the age of 7 or so
Friend:
That's cool.
Friend:
You have a very different way of looking at things. I'm like that too. I'm just not as poetic. Lol
Me:
I have to learn that I'm worth something
Friend:
Exactly! You just have been around the wrong type of people for way too long.
Friend:
It probably started with your parents.
Me:
Right
Friend:
I love my family and I don't mean ill by that but our parents didn't always do a good job raising us. They didn't know any better.
Friend:
Especially those of us who are so intrinsic like you and I.
Friend:
I'm an introvert and because of it I have been tortured about it all my life. Picked on my own parents. Told that I should be more like my siblings who are more extroverts.
Me:
I don't think it was on purpose I was very sensitive to sensitive
Friend:
Oh no!! Never on purpose. I know that....our parents are good people who just didn't know any better.
Me:
I feel to much I repress to be able to function
Friend:
Big mistake!!!! I still struggle with that but honestly, seeing a professional YEARS ago helped me. I only went to a psychiatrist 3 visits before I got what she was telling me and didn't need to go back.
Me:
That's why I'm so erratic with my feelings
Friend:
That's where you have to disconnect. Do NOT ever let your feelings guide your movements!!
Me: No mediums all extremes
Friend:
You know whats wrong....you're very receptive and accepting of your own feelings. Accepting your problems and issues is the first step.
Friend:
The more u talk about your problems and feelings and thoughts...the easier it is to work on yourself.
Me:
This blog is a step in the right direction I think
Friend:
Blogging is awesome, but at times, you might subconsciously suppress what you really want to say because you know u have an audience.
Me:
True it forces me to be creative and nurture that side of me
Friend:
But yes, a HUGE step in the right direction.
Me:
I'm an open book, I have to unleash what I've stored from a lifetime of shit
Friend:
Never be ashamed or concerned with your feelings. You are entitled to feel any way you want....
Me:
Do I capture your attention and imagination
Friend:
And yes, once I open the link....I'm like stopped dead in my tracks because I HAVE to find out whats next.
Me:
I think I have a systematic way of writing I think I can do this for a very long time
Friend:
You have an amazing creativity and I LOVE your analogies. Lol
Friend:
Some of them crack me up.
You have a way of making the reader feel like they are in the room with you. Very descriptive and deep. That's important.
Me:
I have pictures in my mind and I do my best to relive those moments as I write
Friend:
It's like you're giving us a tour of your heart and at moments there is gonna be bad weather and there's nothing anyone can do about it. All we can do is grin and bear it!
Me:
Get ready to grin a lot lol
We always question our descions and if your smart enough our answers as well. Any success story has twice as many failures. Change is diffcult but its a unmovable force of nature. I have challenged this and have been crushed cause of my inability to adapt. I'm at a crossroad and there are many avenues. Now is not the time to lose my sense of direction.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
- Dr. Seuss
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
Well, you're a hopeless romantic...I am one too. You're a nurturer and because you've had so many turmoil in your own personal life, you want to fix others.
Friend:
It happens. You just have to understand that you can't fix anyone. EVER! Only yourself.
Me:
I'm smiling cause you know your shit
Me:
I wanna fix everyone but myself
Friend:
By fixing and helping others....you feel a sense of satisfaction for your own sadness. But in reality, you are avoiding your own inner pain because you don't want to deal with it.
Me:
Spot on
Friend:
Trust me....I have learned a lot and having that natural sixth sense I have....I can read just about anyone once I sit back, listen and observe.
Friend:
I don't have to know what your pain is. I only see it because of how hard you hurt because you're trying to fix someone else.
Me:
Don't tell my secret it's all I have left lol
Friend:
And believe me....all and everything anyone ever says to me...dies with me.
Me:
I have always been an observer since the age of 7 or so
Friend:
That's cool.
Friend:
You have a very different way of looking at things. I'm like that too. I'm just not as poetic. Lol
Me:
I have to learn that I'm worth something
Friend:
Exactly! You just have been around the wrong type of people for way too long.
Friend:
It probably started with your parents.
Me:
Right
Friend:
I love my family and I don't mean ill by that but our parents didn't always do a good job raising us. They didn't know any better.
Friend:
Especially those of us who are so intrinsic like you and I.
Friend:
I'm an introvert and because of it I have been tortured about it all my life. Picked on my own parents. Told that I should be more like my siblings who are more extroverts.
Me:
I don't think it was on purpose I was very sensitive to sensitive
Friend:
Oh no!! Never on purpose. I know that....our parents are good people who just didn't know any better.
Me:
I feel to much I repress to be able to function
Friend:
Big mistake!!!! I still struggle with that but honestly, seeing a professional YEARS ago helped me. I only went to a psychiatrist 3 visits before I got what she was telling me and didn't need to go back.
Me:
That's why I'm so erratic with my feelings
Friend:
That's where you have to disconnect. Do NOT ever let your feelings guide your movements!!
Me: No mediums all extremes
Friend:
You know whats wrong....you're very receptive and accepting of your own feelings. Accepting your problems and issues is the first step.
Friend:
The more u talk about your problems and feelings and thoughts...the easier it is to work on yourself.
Me:
This blog is a step in the right direction I think
Friend:
Blogging is awesome, but at times, you might subconsciously suppress what you really want to say because you know u have an audience.
Me:
True it forces me to be creative and nurture that side of me
Friend:
But yes, a HUGE step in the right direction.
Me:
I'm an open book, I have to unleash what I've stored from a lifetime of shit
Friend:
Never be ashamed or concerned with your feelings. You are entitled to feel any way you want....
Me:
Do I capture your attention and imagination
Friend:
And yes, once I open the link....I'm like stopped dead in my tracks because I HAVE to find out whats next.
Me:
I think I have a systematic way of writing I think I can do this for a very long time
Friend:
You have an amazing creativity and I LOVE your analogies. Lol
Friend:
Some of them crack me up.
You have a way of making the reader feel like they are in the room with you. Very descriptive and deep. That's important.
Me:
I have pictures in my mind and I do my best to relive those moments as I write
Friend:
It's like you're giving us a tour of your heart and at moments there is gonna be bad weather and there's nothing anyone can do about it. All we can do is grin and bear it!
Me:
Get ready to grin a lot lol
We always question our descions and if your smart enough our answers as well. Any success story has twice as many failures. Change is diffcult but its a unmovable force of nature. I have challenged this and have been crushed cause of my inability to adapt. I'm at a crossroad and there are many avenues. Now is not the time to lose my sense of direction.
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
- Dr. Seuss
I'm out of steam and have a pounding headache. Thank you for your time cause its the most precious gift we carry.So please spray the shoes and return them where you found them.I have many steps that await me.Goodnight
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